These days, society seems to normalize the idea that highly successful career women can be intimidating, and that’s that. Thus, they need to accept that they tend to chase away prospective men that can potentially woo them. But should women just accept their fate that being strong, high-strung individuals such as themselves also means being alone and lonely? Should they just stick to their beliefs that men need to keep up with them, and man up?
According to Vanessa “Coach Vee” Antonio, US-certified matchmaker, dating coach and founder of Singles Events Manila, independent, modern women should acknowledge that they still need to work on their feminine energy, if they want to make their men happy– that is.
“There are actual scientific studies and researches that show that if the woman is earning more in a household, the man would most likely cheat,” Coach Vee explained.
“It has something to do with a man’s ego, and their nature to want to provide for their women. When a woman is taking over that role to provide, men tend to feel emasculated and would want to take back their power and express their manhood somewhere else. It is sad but true.”
“You may be earning more financially, but you still need your man to provide for you. Even if you are an independent woman, your man would still want to be a hero in your eyes. Men need to feel like they are providing for your needs,” she added. “You can be aggressive at your job. But in your romantic relationship, you need to drop that hat if you want to have a happy romantic relationship.”
Coach Vee elaborated that it is about “honing your innate feminine energy” and making sure you are being a lady in your relationship.
“All women are born in touch with their feminine energy. But because of the demands of life and our need to survive, we’ve adapted masculine traits that sometimes we take into our romantic relationships.”
Sweat no more though, as honing your femininity can be learned.
“Switching on and switching off your feminine energy is a skill that you should learn. It is a skill very much like flirting, a skill you do to let the opposite sex know that you are interested in them.”
In an exclusive interview with STYLISH, Coach Vee shared some tips on how to maintain and hone your feminine energy to have a happy, balanced romantic relationship:
Start with the mindset
“When going out on a date, a woman’s mindset should be ‘I hope I like them’ instead of ‘I hope he likes me.’ Your mantra should be ‘I do not have to prove anything to the world’– because this mindset will help you have a more confident, relaxed demeanor.”
“When a woman is more in touch with her feminine energy, she’s very relaxed. She does not feel the need to brag about her career. She is just very present in the now, because she knows that she is a catch. Whether the date works out or not, it does not matter to her.”
Focus on your self-care
“Based on scientific studies, your level of self-care affects how your date or partner will treat you. Your date will think that if you cannot take care of yourself, how can you take care of him? In our subconscious mind, self-care should be prioritized. Whether there’s a man or not, a feminine woman takes good care of herself.”
“According to studies, men buy gifts for their women to the level of how women take care of themselves.”
So what is Coach Vee’s advice? You should invest in your self-improvement.
“You should invest in yourself. Do you attend styling classes to improve how you look? Do you take care of your inner child? You should invest in your sense of fashion, in workshops that can elevate how you see yourself. You should read books to learn more, and prioritize your improvement and growth. If you are making yourself happy, you tend to have higher standards for yourself yet maintain that easy-to-please trait. You can be a woman with high standards and still be easy to please. It makes you exude that energy that you have emotional availability.”
Allow your man to lead
“Regardless of your economic status, you should let your man lead in your relationship.”
“A man’s life is full of aggression already as it is, so generally, men want to relax with their women. And being light and playful can be feminine traits that they like.”
“Men in touch with their masculine traits– they want to lead, they want to provide. They are looking for a woman with more feminine traits, and being relaxed and playful is a must-have feminine trait.”
“Men are wired to do something for women, or to provide for them. Notice that when you ask a favor from a man, he will most likely respond to you positively, more so especially if you are a sweet, nice and calm woman.”
“All in all, It is like learning the human nature of men. You have to understand their needs, and you have to accept that they think differently than a woman. Give them opportunities to be that man for you. Let him plan for your date, or your vacation. Let him pamper you.”
If you want to learn more about Coach Vee’s dating advice and services, follow her on Instagram @datingcoachvee.